Communicating betterer; beginning a language of life

I had an unfortunate conversation with my neighbour  over a period of the last 2 days. Their stock animals have been grazing on our land in full view of their house. Over the years I have noted that they never take them off until we complain. So I communicate this and the reasons why we need the grass; or alternatively if we want to share or enter into some kind of arrangement,then lets do so.At the moment its a bit one-sided.
This is a typical farm neighbour situation-trouble over the fencing of stock. The neighbour is so aggressive I have chosen to put notes in the mailbox-a point which I expressed some regret and hope that we could be able to at least talk in the future.
I get a letter back which begins with "You're a liar!" and ends with"So shut up!" It is full of past resentments (the neighbour unsurprisingly has cancer), judgements,  defensiveness. I don't want to go into the details of it; it isn't my point.
I'm disappointed at the way that  we as a culture communicate.I have, in the last 2 and a half years been involved in overhauling my own language, and adopting a new one. Like many old habits, they can be hard to break. The new way cuts out judgement, criticism, put downs etc, and instead asks one to look at feelings and the underlying needs, wants and values that aren't being met. It goes further, to asking oneself and others for something which might help fulfill that need, value or want. The languages intention is to connect with others in a real, deep and human way.
This 'language of life' asserts that negative feelings (such as fear, guilt, anger etc) arise from unmet parts of our lives.And on the other hand, positive feelings(such as joy, peace and excitement) arise from these 'needs' being met.
It is profound and it works. It doesn't work in the currently popular means of getting your needs met at the expense of others- the tough love approach pervading our parenting meetings and schools. The fallout from that is silent resentment, depression, acting out of fear, shame or guilt. It has an unsatisfied party in the conversation.It breaks down connection between people. It also teaches bullying behaviour ie the getting ones demands met by coercion, creating fear and using force. You can see the results of this on the world stage as a country awakes, angry, and rids itself of a dictator.Rather it assumes the worth of the people involved in communicating. It assumes that getting what you want doesn't mean that the other doesn't get what they want.
I'm a fan.Its creator says it embodies spiritual values most of us subscribe to: loving your neighbour as yourself, peace, trust, compassion and so on They always struck me as great words, but how to put them into action-how to 'do' love- was missing. Also I'm programmed to start blaming, judging, criticising,comparing and that's hard to shift.I was bought up with it at home, school and the greater world.
I have successfully used this new language in the classroom, at home and with my family and friends. Dont worry, I still sound like me-you won't need an interpreter. But you and I may feel quite different during and at the end of our conversation.
This isnt an advertorial, but if you want to look at it more there are ways to learn it. Have a look at www.NVC.org.nz

Getting rid of teaching as a profession and replacing it with something better

I'd like to propose getting rid of the teaching profession. Let me explain why. T begin with lets ask the question what is a teacher? Surely an exponent or a master involved with the people who want to gain some of the same skills or knowledge. But that's not what we think of when we think of the teaching 'profession'.It has become a stand alone job, like plumber or accountant.And most teachers are not actively involved in their field We imagine it has skills and knowledge of its craft; in reality it doesn't have any.Except perhaps the art of communication; but that isn't an endemic 'skill'.
Many years ago a friend and teacher said to me "I think we have got teaching and learning mixed up"In the ensuing conversation she described this trick of the mind-she thought that they were different things. I thought that the problem was you didin't have to have a teacher to learn, but you could have. You can stand there and 'teach' till you're blue in the face but if you dont have a relationship of the learner wanting what you have, and them seeing the difference it made in your life then "moumou taima" as Maori say, "waste of time". I never once heard this said at training college.
So I'm proposing the ending of teaching as a career as it stands now. Instead, we will have exponents or masters in their field engaging with eager learners.The exponents will need to be practicioners.Current teachers will need to become exponents.Most teachers I know crave the chance to practice their field, but cannot due to the farming mentality of the education system and all- or- nothing employment strictures- too busy, too many students, no time etc
I'm all for decentralising 'education' and bringing into the sphere of normal life-making the links between what we are good at, what we do, and the people that want to do what we do, and can see the difference it makes in our lives. eg joy,contentment, money- and fostering a tangible felt experience of  participation, accomplishment, belonging, competence and mutuality.
I also propose that resources formerly used in schools(funds, equipment etc) be distributed to the places where the masters work from to allow them the training of their students.
Its really reinventing the wheel-its the way its always been done. A friend of mine's eyes lit up when I was talking with them  about this. "Oh like an apprenticeship!" Exactly.
But don't think just trades here. Think services, arts, sports, food growers, ministries, speakers, clothing makers,healers etc

Chemical weapons

Sign up for my cartoon blog weekly newsletter Fake Mink Rug at Fake Mink Rug
Its free or open to a donation or regular payment.Have a look at my blog below
" My new Clog, Fake Mink Rug" as it has a bit more about it.

Truancy Shmooancy

There was a front page article in a recent newspaper The Manawatu Standard about a truancy officer who is cleaning up Feilding by getting kids back to school.click to read article
In their zeal to make children's lives better (questionable!) they are riding roughshod over the rights and needs of homeschooled children.They are doing the same thing in Levin and (I'm not sure, Palmerston North?)
I wrote a letter to Talia Shadwell,the Education correspondent for the Manawatu Standard asking for an opportunity to get together and to point out a different side of the argument
Heres what I wrote:

 Hi Talia
I read your front page article on truancy.Wanted to know if you wanted to expand the debate. One little known aspect is that homeschooled children are being approached on the street and questioned-enough for my homeschooled daughter to not even venture out during school hours. No one considered their story; and there are more than a few homeschoolers in this region-its more like in the hundreds in the Manawatu Horowhena.I also include a  post on truancy from my blog for your information at.http://hilldogg-visionary.blogspot.co.nz/2013/02/go-on-truant.html
Ok hopefully you will be interested.
With regards
Duncan Hill

No response. So if you could write to her asking to reconsider it may bring about a response

talia.shadwell@msl.co.nz

17th September update: Talia Shadwell has left the job so I've made some intial contact with the new Education reporter Lucy Townend, Let you all know how I get on.
Duncan

GCSB protest poster

As a part of the protest against the proposed changes to the law,I did this woodcut poster. Its carved by hand and printed by hand to show that people really have a big gripe about this-and this is 'people art' at its roots.Printed on hard wearing recycled Kraft paper 190gram (that means like light card) I loved doing it, I am going to do more. So spread the word, pass it on. They are available from me for $20 signed. plus $5.90 postage in a cardboard tube anywhere in NZ. I can do more than 10 for $15 each. Its a work of art in its own right for your wall, but equally needs to go on your local building or workplace to stop this insanity!

The Origin of the title Fake Mink Rug

Fake Mink Rug-the name of my Clog- came from a funny and informative conversation with Thomas, a German 'woofer' (WOOF-Workers On Organic Farms) staying with us.He introduced me to the cool German idea of compound nouns (I believe compound verbs are used also) which allow very specific words to be made by joining words to nuance the meaning in a very detailed, sic German, precise way.
Here's an extreme example, which even the Germans are finding tiresome and unwieldly:
"Grundstücksverkehrsgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung" 
which means "regulation governing the delegation of authority pertaining to land conveyance permissions"
Anyway I was asking someone in my family to put away the Fake Mink Rug-when I heard Thomas titter.And when I asked him what was so funny he said it sounded like one of these German 'tapeworm' words.I guess it should really be Fakeminkrug to be consistent.